Tina’s summary

1. Why do you think your Mother has AS? ·             Echolalia of a type… she cannot be a passenger in a car without reading out all the signs along the way ·             Lacking in empathy ·             Intelligent but completely unable to understand sarcasm, irony and sometimes metaphor ·             Obsessive about routine – when my father had a stroke, she was totally thrown by the fact she had to go to the hospital every day, and couldn’t make her regular trip to town ·             Cannot drive to and from places without knowing the exact route in advance, preferably having been “chaperoned” the first two or three times, otherwise she gets lost. ·             Singleminded to the point of selfishness – she has her own routine and can’t understand if she stays with me she has to bend to my routine – she expects me to change to her routine, even after my father explains it to her two or three times. ·             Constantly interrupts my father when he is working but will lose her temper if he asks her a question while she is engaged in a task ·             I’ve always known she was “different”, but because she is from India I felt it was more a cultural thing.  But even though some of her sisters are very similar, I think that is probably because they have AS too.

There are lots more things, but when I sit down like this, to list them all seems petty.   2. What do you hope to get out of being a member of ASpar?  Just to talk about my feelings of guilt and anger especially about only finding this out at age 40.  Especially to help me with my feelings toward my “normal” father, who left most of the parenting to my mother even thoughshe was not a good parent – although I wasn’t abused, I was often confused.

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3 thoughts on “Tina’s summary

  1. My mother does what my siblings and I call ‘observe and report’. She reads every sign aloud that she sees. If she sees a homeless person she’ll announce ‘Look! A bum!’ She is most definitely without a filter. She counts things and reports the total — ‘There are 32 steps in that stairwell…’ etc. She has zero social graces or concern for other’s feelings. She can only consider how SHE feels about things. She basically sees people as data — not humans. Why someone like this would have 6 children is beyond me. All I can say is thank god for therapy.

  2. When I read your post, I thought I had written it for a second! My mother also has to read every sign out loud in the car. It’s such an interesting symptom. Thanks for telling your story.

  3. We have a child on weekend that lives with her AS mother during the week – she is showing the traits of the mother especially in the tantrums and emotional meltdowns. She seems very confused, angry, we try to encourage her to talk about her emotions and feeling in the hope that we may be able to help her but she changes the subject and shuts us out – Normal kids do this as I have three teenagers now, but this little girl is not behaving normally. Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated as Im concerned for the children’s wellbeing.

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